Thinker Unplugged

You may labour under the delusion that restructuring is about balance sheets, operational efficiencies, or even shareholder value. How tragically naive. No, restructuring is about power. It is about knowing where to insert the blade, when to turn it, and above all, ensuring the carcass is tidied away before the shareholders notice the blood on the carpet.

A company, much like a government, is an organism. And like any organism, it occasionally requires amputation. The redundant, the complacent, the loyalists who mistake longevity for competence they are not casualties of progress. They are its fertiliser.

Begin with the charade of consultation. Summon your lieutenants, endure their impassioned monologues, affect an air of grave consideration, and then proceed exactly as you had always intended. Consensus is the crutch of the weak. Leadership is not a committee. It is a coronation, and the crown is not up for debate.

Then, the strategic whisper. A word in the right ear, a story planted in the financial press. Let the market “speculate” about “streamlining.” Watch the share price flicker, rivals flail, and your own people glance nervously over their shoulders. Fear, my dear friend, is the most efficient motivator of all. Wield it.

The strike itself must be swift. Shutter the division in Manchester on a Friday evening. Offload the ailing subsidiary to a “strategic partner” (preferably one whose cheque you’ve already cashed). Ensure the severance is just generous enough to stifle dissent, but never so generous it rewards mediocrity.

But here is the truth they will never teach you in business school. The finest restructures are not about subtraction. They are about transformation. Excise the dead weight, yes, but only to nourish what remains. Centralise power where it belongs in the hands of those who know how to use it. Devolve the blame to those who lack the cunning to avoid it.

And when the dust settles? Step forward as the architect of salvation. The visionary. The man who “took the difficult decisions” to secure the future. The board will applaud. The analysts will coo over your “decisive leadership.” And the survivors? They will toil twice as hard, lest they become the next offering on the altar of progress.

Restructuring is not an endpoint. It is a weapon. The question was never whether to draw the blade. It was always where to place it and whether you possess the nerve to twist.

Now, who’s for a whisky? Neat, of course. Dilution is for the faint of heart.