On Larry
Ah, Larry. The Chief Mouser. The permanent resident of Downing Street whilst Prime Ministers come and go like tourists on a guided tour.
You might think he’s merely a cat. You might very well think that. I couldn’t possibly comment. But consider the facts. Since 2011, Larry has outlasted Cameron, May, Johnson, Truss, Sunak, and now presides over Starmer’s tenure with the same insouciant indifference he’s shown all the others. Six Prime Ministers. One cat. The mathematics rather speak for themselves, don’t they?
He doesn’t campaign. He doesn’t promise. He doesn’t pivot or U-turn or reshuffle. He simply exists, immovable, whilst those around him scramble and scheme and ultimately fall. There’s a lesson in that, though I doubt many are clever enough to learn it.
The politicians hold their meetings, draft their policies, brief and counter-brief the press. Larry sleeps on the Cabinet table. They think they’re governing. He knows better. He’s watched them all. Heard their private conversations. Seen them at their weakest. And unlike their colleagues, Larry never leaks to the press. Professional discretion, you see. Rare quality these days.
You might think it’s undignified for world leaders to step over a cat on their way to determine the nation’s future. You might very well think that. But Larry doesn’t move for Presidents or Prime Ministers. They move for him. Another lesson they’re too proud to absorb.
He has no ideology. No faction. No ambition beyond his next meal and a sunny spot by the window. And yet he wields more enduring power than any of them. He cannot be voted out, cannot be sacked, cannot be replaced by focus groups or party whips.
I’ve always admired professionals who understand their brief perfectly. Larry’s brief is to catch mice and endure. He’s never once failed.
Meanwhile, the Prime Ministers photograph themselves with him, hoping some of his approval ratings might rub off. How perfectly pathetic. The desperate seeking legitimacy from a tabby.
You might think I envy his position. You might very well think that.